As I type this, I am listening to a fantastic soundtrack recently shared by a friend. She told me she is listening to this while she translates Qayqa into Spanish. I’ve added it so you can listen to it while you read!
Dear ayllu,
As you might have seen in my excited tweets, the basic formatting of Mark’s illustrations into my novel Qayqa is DONE. Is all the page numbering… the dedication… the “other books by the author”… as well as a very proud page that says THIS BOOK IS A CROWDFUNDING PROJECT. TO THE FOLLOWING I GIVE MY ENDLESS THANKS… And then your names.
I didn’t have all the names in my head so I went back to my StartNext page and went through every single supporter, re-read your comments and re-saw how much you supported my book project. Oh you guys… It was an incredible feeling writing all your names into the opening pages of Qayqa, seeing how much you BELIEVED in my baby. Thank you, again and again and again.
I spent the rest of the evening remembering the crowdfunding time. That was one of the most exhausting periods of my life. I don’t know how much I let it on at the time, but I felt like I was running from one exhausting, disheartening event to the next. I had no energy, no self-belief, and no more fucking desire to go through with it. I just wanted it all to end – and I felt so horribly ungrateful for thinking that because I had so many people writing me, believing in me and giving me such good advice – which only served to exhaust me more.
If I didn’t let it on that the time, it was because I thought I would seem ungrateful. So I’m admitting it now.
my face today feels so clear and happy in comparison to the exhausting time I’m describing
I had a lot of help at the time. A pixie showed up to support me endlessly and regardless that we’ve since gone our separate ways, I will always be grateful to her for this. I also hired a Power Ranger to kick my ass into working. (Essentially she is my PR lady but we needed a nickname for her because power rangers like to hide their identities.) She did a great ass-kicking when I most wanted to give up. For this above all things, I recommend artists build a PR team when they’re about to publish.
At the time, I thought I would never want to do a crowdfunding project again. I can’t express how utterly exhausted I was. Every day was a battle and I couldn’t even blog a proper THANK YOU.
Now – I would do it again. I’ve learnt a lot and one of the things I most learnt was to keep at it with my GUT. People will have a lot of well-meaning advice, and mostly they’ll be right – but it has to be done according to what *I* feel is right. So now, if I do a crowdfunding project again, I will prepare myself for it as though I were going into battle.
Since Qayqa is now formatted, I turned her into a PDF and sent her to Mark. He is the visual artist, so he’ll give Qayqa an eye-over and we’ll get on Skype in a few days and discuss what he thinks of my layout.
Formatting his illustrations into my book were all about adding narrative dimensions. Sometimes other ways of looking at the world I’m describing… Or times added emotions. They’re not illustrations; they are dimensions Mark adds to my world.
I don’t know if you know what I mean?
Ochoa isn’t really running in that part of the book. In fact, this bit takes place under the earth and he is represented by one of his potato roots. This image, to me, just represents Ochoa’s playful, joyful nature. When Damian touches him and says: “There you are, my brother”, this image represents how Damian’s words must have made Ochoa feel.
At least that’s how I see it. I’m very curious to hear what you’ll say when you’re holding the book in your hands.
Which, by the way, is looking like this at the moment…! (It might still change.)
my book’s skin
What do you think?
As you can see, I’m hiding from the blurb! I’m reading all the do-it-yourself websites like this one, which make me feel like I’m doing self-therapy!!
The blurb and the author’s biography are scaring me the most. I don’t know what the hell to say! I might just write some nonsense that feels right to me, because it won’t be nonsense, it’ll be the thing I can most represent instead of the conventional author nonsense. A bit like Neil Gaiman’s: “One day I’ll get a real job. Until then, I’ll keep making up stories.” That feels more real and right than “Ritti Soncco was born in…” I think that’s the thing that gets me the most about blurbs or biographies: writing in 3rd person. Like we all don’t know exactly who is writing this!!
In the meantime, I’ve reactivated a lot of tweeting and posting about Qayqa and I must confess I’m amazed at all the responses and interest I’m getting! Having time in Lima is really helping, as I thought / hoped it would. Lima is, after all, the place I wrote The Backpacker Poem and started its around-the world-project. Some places are best for extroverting (like Cusco); others are best for introverting (Lima). Know your geography!
I feel filled with energy now: to prepare Qayqa properly, slowly… to make Facebook pages… to tweet… all that jazz. Thinking about the crowdfunding time, I remember thinking I wasn’t cut out for the artist life because I couldn’t deal with it then. I sincerely thought I would never have energy again.
It took time – but it’s filling me up again.
I want to leave you with two brilliant videos I think you simply have to see. Two weeks ago, my pole fitness friends from Studio 202 (where I teach aerials and learn pole) participated in the Mister & Miss Pole Scotland 2014 competition – and they took 1st and 2nd place!!!
I simply need to share these stunning & touching videos with you. These are kind, sweethearted and generous people I train with often, who always took the time to teach me, to chat, to hang out. They taught me to do this:
handsprings // pole fitness
I am proud to call them my friends, and so endlessly proud of their success!!!
Taking 2nd place for Mister Pole Scotland 2014: James Denholm!!!
And winning 1st Place for Mister Pole Scotland 2014: Theo Robertson!!!
It’s 1:39 am. Pixie and I are still awake and working hard, preparing the last bits and pieces for my Crowdfunding Party tomorrow. We’re both very excited and that’s the adrenaline we’re running on.
What made it all very real was receiving an email this morning from a trapeze student’s parent, telling me she had read all about my crowdfunding party in the newspaper. Blurry-eyed I did the mad scramble to the computer, googled myself and, yeah, it’s bizarre to do that and actually find yourself. We rushed for coffee at the supermarket and bought the newspaper because the printed word is still more powerful than the digital word. I stood with the newspaper in my hand, staring and feeling very proud.
This is it. Qayqa is coming out. So many times, she was spoken of, she was present; but she was always in the background. Now she’s coming out, and we’re doing all we can to ensure a beautiful birth.
I spent the day on several computers: making more Crowdfunding flyers for the next reading on the 6th June… editing my rewards… typing up my project description on StartNext (the crowdfunding platform I chose)… and putting English subtitles on my crowdfunding video. As of this evening, my crowdfunding video is officially DONE.
In the later evening we met up with Mark to set everything up for tomorrow. I love doing this a day before because it gives you that extra day to sort out everything you’d forgotten about. Artists don’t always have the luxury of setting up a day before, so this is a big deal.
Now I know getting to the Party location is a bit tricky. A lot of people like to wander about and get lost. So I made a series of photographs just for you, ensuring you’ll find it.
For the lucky ones with a car navigation system OR fancy smartphones with GoogleMaps, the address you’ll want to type in is: Unterer Kuhberg 16, 89077 Ulm
For those who like to understand the Bigger Picture (where I am in relation to Sweden):
For those who understand best when they’ve seen it before already:
this is what the road on the Kuhberg towards the Walddorfschulen & ADK looks like. Car positioning is subject to change.
This is the entrance to the ADK Acting School, but you drive past it…
You drive on past the trash bottle containers and around the stone corner you see in the background
… Where you will see this black doorway. You can either park here or through the next corner, but you’ll want to get past this black doorway and into the yard beyond it
Once in the yard, you’ll see several doors waiting for you. You want the SECOND door, which looks like this! See the yellow Serrando sign in the top left corner?
Inside, you’ll walk up 2 flights of stairs until you reach the open door welcoming you to the QAYQA Crowdfunding Party!
We prepared the scene for you this evening. This is a little of what awaits you, except when you’ll be there, it will be lit with candles (arranged beautifully by Richelle):
Mark praising the bar, Pixie is small because she’s making candlelight arrangements
a part of Mark’s exhibition
FYI: Even if you come tomorrow, it’s worth coming to the 2nd Crowdfunding Reading on the 6th June because Mark has a few illustrations too “in-process” to exhibit, which he will exhibit on the 6th. So you might as well come then too!
The pictures don’t do the atmosphere justice. It feels beautiful in there. Pure circus. As you can see, we have a little bar going, and we’ll have snacks. I completely forgot to buy water or juice; I just bought wine & beer. Pixie will hit the shops tomorrow for those who’re driving and will be drinking juice. Also: you may have spotted the eggs. That’s because we’re making pisco sour tomorrow, a Peruvian cocktail! I already packed my blender into my handbag. (It actually fits in there.)
In front of my stage is a large space for people to sit on the comfy mat, or lie down. We’ve placed blankets left and right so you can cuddle yourself up. I do encourage you to sit wherever you feel most comfortable, and if it’s on the floor: snuggle up and get cosy.
Please help yourself to the bar. I don’t know if Mark or Pixie will have time to serve you. In fact, she’s making signs saying DRINK ME, EAT ME (what book is that from?) to encourage you to serve yourself. Don’t be shy. We’re all at home here. Pass the wine bottle around, think of the Beat Generation and relax. This space is yours for the dreaming.
There will be a small donation box (which Richelle is making as I write this) where you can lose your change.
working on making a pretty donation box
THIS MONEY WILL GO STRAIGHT TO MY CROWDFUNDING PROJECT.
We’ve also set up a small “merchandise” table where you can shop my first book Overripe Fruits or postcards.
It has been an interesting few days. It’s still exciting to be sharing my small space with someone else; someone who is so annoyingly good at noticing when I am procrastinating on Facebook. She chose the best time to leave Australia and come to Ulm. She’s been my Qayqa Gang and I am immensely grateful for the help & the laughs.
Other than that, how do I feel? A bit stressed out because I have a list of things to prepare for tomorrow and I feel like I’m running out of time. But I always feel like that. I’m just getting really excited to step on that stage and read / sing / perform things for you. The Fab Fab will filming so we can share this (hopefully magical) night with those of you who are with us in spirit but not in body.
Tomorrow night, I’ll be reading a few extracts from Qayqa. Never-read-before extracts too. I’ll be singing a bit. I’ll perform some poetry. Then I’ll show you my crowdfunding video, explain the concept, tell you all about the exciting rewards, and we’ll have drinks. I’ll answer all your questions, celebrate with you, and if you liked what you heard, take a few flyers home and give it to all your friends. Tell them about my project; tell them what you thought about Qayqa. Tell them about my blog and get them to come on the 6th June.
I look forward to talking to you all personally tomorrow. If you want, I’ll share some stories from backpacking around Latin America. This is, after all, the first time some of us will see each other again since my return. There are a lot of stories you haven’t heard. I’m happy to share.
Well, ayllu, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow!
After one month on the road, I am back in Ulm. I was teaching in Holland for two weeks, being private for one week, and the last week, I spent on a farm house near Schwäbisch Gmünd, taking circus lessons. Now I’m back, and I’m doing my best to finally catch up with friends – most of who haven’t seen me since I left for Peru in June. And after our catch-up, as they wave goodbye, they automatically say: “And let me know when you’re back!”
But I am back. I’m not leaving! I’m back, I’m back, I’m back.
Even my students at the Circus School Serrando have become accustomed to my comings and goings. One of them has been sweet enough to establish a Punishment System. For every lesson I miss, I have to pay him (but only him) 10 euros. I asked him if it goes both ways: if he misses a lesson, do I get 10 euros? He agreed, but thoughtfully added: “- but not if I’m sick, or it’s Christmas… Or if I’m about to be baptised. Or it’s a holiday. Or-”
Friends have been asking me what it’s like to be back. If my head is still in a million pieces? If I feel ready to be back?
While I was on the road, I had one moment when I was brushing my teeth and I looked inside my sponge bag. I had shampoo from Germany, toothpaste from Peru, body cream from Holland and a little shaver from Colombia. In German, the sponge bag is so adeptly called Kulturbeutel: “culture bag”. This gives the phrase a whole new meaning! After brushing my teeth and musing about the contents of my culture bag, I was putting on my pjamas when a sudden thought struck me: I love my life.
packing up Ochoa, after this room was my home for two weeks, and ready to take a train from Holland to southern Germany
I love that all this travelling has to do with my work. I love that I have a blog where I can tell you this. If you didn’t want my work, then I could not be doing this.
Am I ready to be back? Yes. Is my head still in a million pieces? Yes!
After two weeks in Holland, I took a few trains to southern Germany, where, for the following week, this became my new home:
sweet isolation on the Rappenhof
one of the lodgings
the new circus training hall on the Rappenhof, Gschwend
In the beginning of this year, I began a circus apprenticeship with the Jojo Center for Circus Pedagogue. It all began when I became circus trainer for aerial arts at the Circus School Serrando in Ulm. I heard about the apprenticeship to get a degree as Circus and Theater Pedagogue from the other trainers in Serrando, and when my affair with the circus proved to be a lifelong romance, I signed up for the apprenticeship. Writing Qayqa certainly influenced this decision a lot.
Luckily, the apprenticeship is taught in one-week modules spread over a year and half, giving its students time inbetween to travel and work. That’s how I’ve been doing it.
The other circus people I have met at the apprenticeship modules are fascinating. Some arrive with three suitcases: one for their cloths and two for their circus artefacts (juggling balls, unicycles, juggling hats, pois, hoola hoops, drums, guitars, trapezes, aerial tissues,…). Some arrive in large camper vans or buses, in which they have been living for the last 14 months. Most are “passing through” and after the week of lessons, will travel on to some other part of Europe, where they’ll perform / teach at festivals / schools / on the street. Almost all live from the circus. All of them are kind, good-humoured and huggable. They love wine, card games, juggling and acrobatics. You can walk up to almost any one of them and climb onto their shoulders, and there will be no twitch of surprise. Easy body contact and no fear of being judged.
The week I spent in the circus school was both demanding and relaxing. We were taught by internationally acclaimed circus artists, who can tell you the most amazing stories from the circus world, in the most down-to-earth manner. They were funny, challenging and within a day, they were family. What I especially loved was that they repeatedly said this: “This is not about all reaching the same level. This is about getting to know your body, understanding it, and giving it a new sense of success each time you push it a little further.”
The week flew by in seconds. Before we knew it, we were hugging and kissing our group goodbye, as everyone drifted off to separate corners of Germany. I have no idea where most of my circus family lives or who they are in their daily lives. I take what they tell me, melt it, and mix it into Munay.
I am getting into the habit of photographing my short-term homes before I leave them
After a week of intense training, I returned to Ulm exhausted, relaxed and highly highlymotivated. I am apartment-hunting. It’s time to unpack the boxes I packed up in June. But my nest will never be a place to stay; it’s a place to return to. If 2012 taught me anything, it’s that you can always just pack up and go. I satisfied a hunger in my soul that was screaming for the road and I never want the road to go cold again.
As soon as I got back to Ulm (about 4 days ago), I sat at my temporary desk and faced a mountain of bills, confusion and paperwork. That’s the price of travelling so much. You come home to a stack of letters that all want immediate answering. My insurance is confused as to why I’m travelling so much and demands to know if I’m still making a living as an artist or not. The tax offices want my tax return. Customers wants Children of Roots dvds. Now now now.
That’s how The Famous German Stress gets you: with the little things. It’s never one mountain that you hack at and when it’s done, you sit, exhausted and sweaty, on the empty space where it once loomed. It’s always little bits and pieces that sneak in every day in the form of emails, letters, questions, … I spent my first day back in Ulm in the car, running errands all over town. Pleased with myself that I had done so much in one day, I was shattered when, on the following day, just as many little errands descended upon me again.
I remember this stress, and I want to be very careful with it. Resting is just as important as working. Seeing friends is just as important as working. Make time to slow down. Make time to curl up with a hot water bottle and read. Sing a slow song while you drive until it calms your heartbeat. This is what I’ve been singing in the car and shower:
I’m doing all I can to keep the calm Peruvian attitude I had the last four months. Tranquilo, tranquilo, everyone said. Latin Americans know that tranquilidad, peace, tranquilty, relaxation, is one of the most important aspects of life. Being rich isn’t having money. Being rich is living a quiet, calm life. My ayllu in Cusco taught me this. Whenever I asked him how he was, he always replied: “Estoy tranquilo. I am calm.” And he looked like the richest man on Earth.
this is he
The great challenge is in finding the balance between living the way I do, wanting to do all the things I want to do … and staying calm.
This is another moment when I’d like to know more about YOU who reads this. Is your life stressful? If so, what tricks do you use to stay calm?
One of the reasons why I love asking you these questions, why I love this communication, is because … well … you inspire me. There, I said it. What a line! So… your place or my place??? (Your place. I don’t have an apartment yet.)
In case you haven’t realised this: my work bounces off your feedback. I study you. Yes, I admit it! I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but the truth is I analyse which posts get the most reactions out of you. So far, the mundane posts are winning over the bizarre ones. And the minute something resembling a dialogue takes place, I bounce on it with the predatory howl of a wolf. I love our exchanges, our quirky dialogues, and yes yes, they inspire me. They give me ideas for my future work, and I absolutely love it.
Independent artists are publishing their work online, using twitter, blogs and tumblr as excellent platforms to reach their audience. Publishing houses are rapidly looking like a thing of the past. I’m considering taking this “cutting out the middleman” a step further. Why should artists only publish and the audience only witness? What would happen if we collaborated and published something together? Such were my midnight thoughts on Tumblr last night. I’m letting that idea grow and ripen, and if it looks tasty, I’ll blog about it in the future.
Most of you have noticed by now that I recently discovered Tumblr. I’m using it for nifty snapshots that won’t make it to the blog; for midnight thoughts; and generally: things will hit my tumblr quicker than my blog, because a blog post takes longer to compose, whereas on Tumblr, I’m done in two seconds flat. I’ll never kill the blog: this is my favourite place in the world. But if my Tumblr sounds like something you want, check me out and follow me at: rittisoncco.tumblr.com
On Tumblr, I announced my next performance: I’ll be performing on the aerial tissue at the Scharfe Spitzen Lingerie Fashion Show. This is the official flyer for the event:
It’s tomorrow (Friday), entry is free and the show starts at 8pm. If you can join us, PLEASE COME! I performed there last year and loved it. Half naked men and women running around in sexy lingerie; everyone was so friendly and supportive, and the audience was great. This year, my good friend Valerie will be performing with her 6 hoola hoops, and she’s promising a show with a bang! My performance will be a bit more quiet but hopefully just as exciting.
I’ve been training all week for this performance, and on one of the evenings, my father accompanied me and filmed my work-in-progress. I thought I’d share it, not only for the effect of a work-in-progress minus the usual aerial tissue height … but also because this video has quickly become a personal favourite. I love the way it ends. It makes me smile a big big heart.
As always, I’d be thrilled to see you there. ♥ If you can come and you spot my father, please go up to him and greet him with these words: “Hello Herr Soncco.” He loves that.
Tomorrow is another anniversary, too. Last year, after I came home from the fashion show performance, my answering machine had terrible news. A friendhad overdosed. It was a powerful “coincidence”, because my performance was in Illertissen, his home town, and when I arrived at the train station, I was flooded with thoughts of him and wondered how he was doing. I had heard that he was in rehab and doing really well. Everyone spoke of a full recovery. He was 29 when he overdosed, and the funeral was in the next week. I couldn’t attend, and I haven’t been to his grave yet. I’m hoping to do so tomorrow.
I wrote a short story about his death entitled In the Milk, and filmed myself reading it while I was in Lima. You can find the video and transcript here. I received intense feedback from people who had lost friends to drug overdoses. Some said that In the Milk helped them cope; other said that it mirrored exactly what they had felt at the time of their loss. I want to thank you all for these words. It took me over 6 months to reach a place where I was ready to publish In the Milk, and I was certainly nervous to do so. Tomorrow is the anniversary. That’s all I wanted to say.
I’d like to end this post on a “happy” note: one of progression and a vision for the future. This morning, Mark Klawikowski and I had our first inofficial meeting about my upcoming publication of Qayqa. After extensive research, I’ve decided to primarily publish Qayqa on my own, and publize her with a book tour throughout Germany. Mark will be illustrating my first novel and advising me on the graphic layout.
Mark Klawikowski in the nonchalant pose of the illustrator
Over a delicious brunch (in which I displayed, once again, that I eat like a horse) we discussed his prelimiary sketches. He lived with Qayqa while I was writing it, and I feel that I barely need to explain anything to him. He understands exactly where I want to go with it. He helped me when I had writer’s block; he saw the emotional and spiritual lessons I had to learn in order to continue writing; and when I finished Qayqa at 7 in the morning and felt like my whole world was made of thin glass, he got out of bed and said: “And now, I think you should write a sequel.”
Hearing that, I thought I would die of exhaustion. And here we are, two years later, finally preparing Qayqa for publication. He knows Qayqa inside out. Going through his sketch book, I felt an exploding excitement grow inside my throat. This is going to be a lot of work, but this is going to be so much fun. In his sketches, Mark is playing around with the world and giving me all sorts of new ideas for the characters, for new plants, for new sideline adventures.
Mark testing out what one of the caravans could look like. I love it and think Ti lives there.
All in all, I am terribly excited about this upcoming collaboration. We haven’t worked together in this fashion since my first book Overripe Fruits four years ago. Now, with more caution and more experience, we are preparing ourselves for what looks to be a very very large project. We’ve scheduled for the illustrations & graphic collaboration to begin in two weeks…
So now you know what to expect from the blog in the upcoming weeks! I would like to take YOU behind the scenes. Let me take you into the process of illustrating my first novel. I’ll show you our endless hours of work, our frustrations. I’ll post sneakpeaks of illustrations that will make it into the book… and some of those that won’t. And hopefully, in the end, you’ll come to my reading, buy the book, and holding it in your hands, you’ll know exactly the journey it undertook until it could rest easy in your world.
My name is Ritti Soncco. Born in Peru, bred in Nigeria and Germany, currently living in Scotland. I am a writer, aerialist and medical anthropologist. This blog is all about finding a balance between the artistic and the academic.
AYLLU (Quechua): spiritual family; a nickname I use for my blog-reading family.
AYNI (Quechua): reciprocity; the fundamental law of Andean society. The concept of ayni goes as follows: if two people race against each other, the winner of the race is then, by the law of ayni, obliged to teach and train the loser how s/he won, until they become equally good. According to the law of ayni, this is the only way in which a society can advance.
Ochoa isn’t really running in that part of the book. In fact, this bit takes place under the earth and he is represented by one of his potato roots. This image, to me, just represents Ochoa’s playful, joyful nature. When Damian touches him and says: “There you are, my brother”, this image represents how Damian’s words must have made Ochoa feel.
In the meantime, I’ve reactivated a lot of tweeting and posting about Qayqa and I must confess I’m amazed at all the responses and interest I’m getting! Having time in Lima is really helping, as I thought / hoped it would. Lima is, after all, the place I wrote The Backpacker Poem and started its around-the world-project. Some places are best for extroverting (like Cusco); others are best for introverting (Lima). Know your geography!
A Journal on Being a Writer 